Dealing with disappointment
I wonder if you can remember what you were doing back in March 2020, as lockdown was enforced in the UK? At the time, we were living as a family in Winchester. My daughter Sophie was 20. She had a dream to go to Australia. It actually became more than a dream. She gave in her notice at work, trained up her replacement and finished work on the Friday. She had bought her ticket and was due to fly out to Australia the following Monday. How excited was she! Sophie has always been someone with big dreams who makes things happen. The year before she flew to Bali. She had an amazing time, but as her parents, it was a bit scary knowing she was on the other side of the world and there was nothing we could do if she got into difficulty.
That weekend, there were lots of rumours about changes to travel regulations. I am not sure we took them too seriously. Sadly, Sophie found out that Australia was closing their borders, and no one would be allowed in. Her trip was effectively cancelled at the last moment. How cruel. Not only that, but she had finished her job and would spend the next few months at home with her family rather than having an amazing adventure in Australia. What a massive disappointment!
So that is our daughter Sophie. What about you? If I say the word “disappointment,” what feelings and emotions does it bring up in you?
Dealing with disappointment is one of those tough but universal parts of being human. Whether it's a missed opportunity, an unmet expectation, or someone letting you down, it can hit hard.
Here are just a few things that might help you to process your disappointment:
Acknowledge It Honestly - Don’t minimise it or try to instantly move on. Name the feeling: “I’m disappointed because…”
Allow Yourself to Feel It - Disappointment hurts because it means you cared. Let yourself feel frustrated or sad for a bit. Bottling it up or forcing positivity too soon can make it worse in the long run.
Talk to Someone - Vent, reflect, or just feel heard. Sharing disappointment can shrink its power and remind you that you're not alone in the experience. We’ve all heard the phrase “a problem shared is a problem halved.”
Ask someone to pray with you – Your heavenly father knows you better than anyone else on the outside and maybe more importantly on the inside. Talking through your disappointments and then giving them to God can really help lighten the load.
Keep Moving - Eventually, when the time is right, take action. Even a small step — a new plan, a different goal, or re-engaging with something that grounds you — starts to shift the weight of disappointment.
We know that time is a healer. Raw emotion will eventually ease. Perhaps the best antidote to disappointment is hope.
Hope is the belief or expectation that something good can happen in the future, especially in the face of difficulty or uncertainty. It’s both a feeling and a mindset—a way of emotionally and mentally orienting ourselves toward possibilities, rather than being paralysed by fear and despair.
My daughter Sophie hasn’t made it to Australia yet, but in time, I believe she will, and it will be the right time for her.
I leave you with my favourite verse in all the Bible:
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29 v 11
Hold onto that rainbow, your future is just around the corner.
