Connection, community…and cost
Humans seem hard-wired to seek connection. From ‘finding your tribe’ to cliques that form in school and, looking back a little further, the idea that no man is an island, the need to connect is pervasive. You see it in culture as well where a country-wide obsession with the Traitors provided a frame of reference for communication and shared stories.
Could it be that we seek connection because we are actually hard-wired that way? That we have been made for connection and community?
Johann Hari (Lost Connections) argues that the root of modern anxiety and depression is more than just a chemical imbalance, it is disconnection. He identifies different types of disconnection as the root of modern emotional suffering: disconnection from meaningful work, other people, values, childhood trauma, status and respect, the natural world and a secure future.
I wonder if any of those resonate with you?
At Ocean Church we are trying to develop practices to aid connection, specifically to other people and the natural world, through our three habits. I recognise my need for this, but frequently come up against the cost of this.
Building connection always carries a cost, and it's nearly always upfront. Take connecting to nature. My amazing wife gets up early at least once every weekend to go sea swimming and the invitation is always open for me to join her and go for a run by the ocean. At my best, I take hold of this opportunity with both hands and love it. Running by the vast stretch of the ocean as the sun comes up is incredible. But… instead I could stay in bed where it is warm and snuggly and not go outside where, these days, it is frequently cold and damp.
When there I never regret it. The connection to creation, to the sea, the wind, glimpses of the winter sun. Time at the beach is never wasted.
Or take connecting to other people. We love having people round for a meal and making time to go deep (Big Table was great for this!) But there is still an upfront cost. Planning the meal, buying the food, tidying the house at least a little bit. But the conversation and community formed over food is fantastic.
I wonder if the bigger cost though, like Hari suggests, is in not connecting.
I believe there is another connection that is even more vital, the connection to the divine. Hari does talk about spirituality, but is not specific on this. Christianity teaches that we are made for community. More than this, God Himself is community, living in relationship as Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
In the book of Acts, Paul says God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ quoting a Cretan philosopher. How can we connect to the One in whom we actually have our being?
And again there is a cost involved. We are told to put others first, to turn the other cheek, to carry our cross, to suffer hardships. But a deeper cost was paid to enable us to connect with the Divine, the Holy, the Almighty. The cost of the cross.
So where does this leave us? Next weekend, shall I get out of bed early to connect with nature? Get organised and invite some friends round? Or seek, reach out for and find the One who is not far from any one of us?
Where are you connected?
